We believe in tomorrow…

…But we’re stuck in today.

I’m so close to the ending. I wrote a big part of the “big reveal” scene. I didn’t finish because I think I want to change what characters are present, to amp up the intensity and provide better motivation for the reveal. There’s still, I think, one last big choice for the main character to make. But I think I have a much clearer idea of how this is fitting together.

I wrote a little over 2000 words and to be honest, they’re rough and awful as hell, and I’m pretty sure I’ll have to rewrite most of them. But I think getting them down is so important. It’s forcing me to make the decisions that I will stand by when I revise. It’s making me realize where the holes are.

This is really tough for me, but it’s good. It’s tough for me to keep going when I know I’m not writing at the top of my game, when I know things are out of order or lack true motivation and when I’m worried that there may be some serious plot problems. But I do think I’m at that point where I have to keep pushing. Maybe I’ll write an ending that moves too quick, or too slow, but that can be fixed. It can all be fixed.

I know I keep repeating that, but it’s because I have a hard time believing it, and I know, to keep going, I have to.

For now I want to remember that I wrote 2000 words and I am very close to the ending, and I did this over a weekend where I was feeling pretty off on both days, so I didn’t even write as much as I could’ve or should’ve, and I am so. Close.

Almost there. I can’t let up now. I have to do this.

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