200 Words at a Time: The Conclusion

Oookay, so I kinda went over 200 words.  Quite a bit over.  Doh!

But here’s my final contribution to the 200 Words at a Time challenge by Chuck Wendig.  You can find other great 1000 word collaborations at his challenge post!

Part 1, by Ashley:

He had already looked in the frozen section. From there, he rushed past people toward the front of the store, past the pharmacy.

“Anthony,” he yelled in a panic.

At the end of the aisle, he looked frantically around the corner. Shoppers shuffled with their items and queued for purchase.

Joe parted the people with his hands and maneuvered down the row of checkout lines. The lottery machines usually held Anthony’s interest.

Each step, he squinted toward the machines, hoping to see the top of Anthony’s head appear. An elderly woman drove a motorized cart in his path and he stopped just before knocking himself into the metal basket.

A rush of warmth filled him. His stomach lurched.

“Anthony,” he yelled in frustration.

The woman in the cart looked up at him calmly.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’m in the way, aren’t I?”

“Yes, actually,” he said, his gaze darting from the machines to the cart.

He grabbed the front end of the cart and pulled it back, so he could quickly scramble around. As he approached the machines, he saw there was no small boy staring up at them and checking the flaps for freebies.

“Anthony,” he yelled again, this time not as loud and much more desperately.

He looked to the doors, then back into the aisles of the store. A man in a red vest worn by the store employees approached him.

“Sir, is your son missing?”

Joe looked at the concerned brow line of the employee.


Part  2, by Tony Taylor:

“Yes, yes he is.”

Joe’s eyes darted around the aisle full of shocked and concerned faces.  He began to feel light-headed.

The man in the red vest turned to another store employee standing next to him.

“Get to the front of the store.  Tell Julie that we need to lock the store-down ASAP.  Tell her we have a missing child.  She’ll call the police.  Let me deal with the static.”

The employee immediately headed to the front of the store.

Joe was feeling his legs begin to weaken. The man noticed immediately and put his arm around Joe.

“Sir, I know that this is difficult, but we are going to find your son.  Can you walk?”

“I think so,” Joe replied.

“We’ll get to the front office, I’m sure that the police will be here any moment.”

The scattered murmurs from the people gathered vibrated inside of Joe’s head.

“Mr. Miers!”

A blonde woman in a store vest quickly approached Joe and the man.  Moving along side of her was another woman who looked to be a store customer.

“Julie, are the police on their way?” Miers asked.

“I think we should move this to the back of the store,” Julie responded.

Miers and Joe both stopped walking.

“Did you find my son?”

The female customer now standing next to Julie stepped forward and put her arm around Joe.

“This is Kathy Cardona,” Julie said softly.  “This is his wife.”

The woman looked up at Miers.

“There is no missing boy,” she said.  “Our son died six months ago.”


Part 3, by Josée De Angelis:

“What? Are you insane?” Joe looked at Kathy. “And who are you anyway? Look, I don’t know who she is, but I really need to find my son so if you don’t mind…” Joe said, turning from them and starting to look around again.

“Joe, wait,” Kathy said, following him.

Julie and Miers stood there, dumbfounded.

“Joe, stop,” Kathy yelled, reaching for Joe’s arm.

Swinging around to her, Joe said: “I don’t know you. Leave me alone. I really need to find my son. If you want, you can help. He’s about so high” Joe reached his hand at chest level, “has blond hair and he’s wearing a GI-Joe T-shirt _”

“Stop it, Joe. You’re scaring me. Did you take your meds this morning?”

“What meds? What are you talking about?”

Suddenly, Joe’s hands started trembling and his eyes lost focus. He started remembering things in flashes.

A lake. Sounds of tires screeching on pavement. Anthony screaming from the back seat. A broken windshield. An airbag in his face. “Mr. Ward, everything will be alright,” said a woman. “We’ll take your son in custody. Agent Porter will meet you at the hospital for debriefing. Don’t say anything to anyone until you speak to Agent Porter. Do you understand?” Joe remembered nodding to the woman he now remembered as Agent Manning. The woman who just told the store’s employees she was Kathy, his wife.


Part 4, by Lynna Landstreet:

“Think, honey,” urged Agent Manning, carefully feigning a look of anguished concern. “Remember the accident? The hospital? You had a head injury, and Anthony –” she paused for a practiced sob. “– Anthony didn’t make it. I know it’s been hard, but you need to remember.” She gave the word the precise stress needed to reinforce the post-hypnotic suggestion. This had better work, she thought. He shouldn’t be experiencing even partial memory leaks, not this soon. Hopefully the situation could still be contained…

He blinked slowly, the look of wary suspicion fading, replaced by recognition, and guilt. “K-Kathy?” he whispered. “What did I –?” He looked around at the store staff, the curious customers. “Oh god, it happened again, didn’t it? I’m so sorry!”

She breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s OK, sweetheart, I’ll take you home.”

Outside, she glanced up the street to see if her backup was close. They’d need to examine him again, make sure the blocks were holding… But something slammed into the back of her head, stunning her.

When she regained her senses, she was pressed up against the brick wall of an alley, arms twisted painfully behind her back. “I remember everything,” Joe hissed. “Now where’s my son?”


And now, the conclusion….

“Joe.  Mr. Ward. Just give me a moment–”

Joe yanked Agent Manning’s arm up farther, jamming her up against the brick. “I don’t want any more of your bullshit!  Take me to him!”

Manning cried out sharply.  “I can’t! And you know that. Mr. Ward–” She cried out again as her cheekbone cracked against the alley wall.  “Mr. Ward, listen to me!  Anthony is safe.  I swear to you.  But you know you can’t see him. You know that.  Just think! Think!  Please!

The note of desperation in her voice almost stopped him.  But Joe was too angry, too desperate himself.  He shoved her again, snapping her hard into the brick wall; there was a wet, ugly crack. He watched her eyes roll back in her head as she slid to the alley floor.

“No,” he screamed.  He crouched over, grabbing fistfuls of her blazer and trying to shake her awake.  “No! Where is he? You have to tell me!  Where’s Anthony.  Where is my son!

For a moment her glazed eyes focused on him and he felt a new surge of hope.  Her lips moved.  He leaned closer to hear what she had to say.

“Safe,” she whispered.  “Safe from you.”

She went limp under his hands, beyond his reach, her secrets carried with her. He stared at her, filled with such anger that for a moment he raised his fists to smash her face, and then the rest of the memories came back: snatching Anthony from the Senator’s house–his wife’s house–because that bitch wouldn’t give him visitation rights, not even one day.  The cops showing up way faster than he expected, Anthony screaming at him from the backseat, screaming Please Daddy I wanna go home! The pavement slick with rain and the car going into that uncontrolled spin, the approach of the lamppost at a terrifying speed.  The hospital, his wife’s cold face, her stupid fucking words: “Please, do whatever you can to help him.  To make him forget all this.  You people conditioned him to be like this. You people and your ‘spy training.’  You made him crazy. Fix it.” The restraints on his arms, the screaming, the raging words that were his own: “I’m not crazy!  I deserve to see him!  Let me see him!  Give me my son!”

Joe sagged over Agent Manning’s corpse, clutching his head.  He felt the warm trickle of something on his cheeks.  Touched them, to find blood.  More from his nose.  The sight of it made him laugh, and then he couldn’t stop laughing.

He staggered to his feet.  Wandered into the darkening night.

Anthony, he had to find him.

Had to find his son.

 

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Halloween Guest Blog: Justine Graykin

Guest author Justine Graykin

Guest author Justine Graykin

My earliest influences were October writers like Ray Bradbury, Shirley Jackson, and H.P. Lovecraft.  I read Harlan Ellison and collected horror anthologies.  I was into dark and dystopian, quoting Nietzsche and planning for the apocalypse.  How in blazes did I wind up the author of Archimedes Nesselrode, which has been described as an exquisite raspberry sorbet with which to cleanse the pallet in between weighty, heart-breaking, gut-wrenching, literary best-sellers and Oprah books?

Because I also grew up with Star Trek, and in the end, Star Trek won.

As a part of growing up we all need to deal with the dark side.  Halloween is a metaphor for that phase of our lives when we confront Death, try on masks as a way to figure out who we are, laugh uneasily at the shadows lurking around us as we watch summer chill into the season of hardship.

I lost my mother unpleasantly, to cancer, when I was twelve.  That’s when my Halloween came.  My way of dealing was to walk right into the shadows and plumb the depths.  Heavy metal music, drugs and nihilism, much to the consternation of my grieving father, who had no idea what to do with me.  Poor man.

But after a few years of rebellion, of punk and snark and pissing off authority, I got tired of wearing black.  Nihilism is fine for the young, whose instinctive sense of immortality keeps them just one defiant shout ahead of despair.  But nihilism is exhausting.  There had to be something beyond wearing masks, of every day being Halloween.

I went back and reread Ray Bradbury, Dandelion Wine and Something Wicked.  Like a spider web breaking across my face, invisible and delicate, I realized I was alive.  I realized what an amazing, ephemeral miracle that was.  Happy New Year.

So what began to interest me, almost obsessively, was understanding what it meant to be alive, particularly how to be alive in a world where there is death and suffering, stupidity and cruelty.  And that’s the direction my writing went.  Finding meaning in the darkness, the warm orange glow of the grinning jack o’lantern.

That’s why I write with humor, with optimism, with delight.  Not because I’m avoiding or ignoring the horrors of the world, but exactly because I acknowledge they are there.  I am staring the hag of despair in the face and disempowering her with laughter, with joy, with hugs and gentleness and compassion.

Come, smile with me, and believe in hope, in the goodness lurking in people’s hearts and the beauty that can be found in the world.  Come, have a bit of fun!

ANcoverLarrythumbJustine Graykin is a writer and free-lance philosopher sustained by her deep, abiding faith in Science, Humanity and the belief that humor is the best anti-gravity device. Author of Archimedes Nesselrode, a book written for adults who are weary of adult books, she is producer of the BroadPod podcast.   She lives, writes and putters around her home in rural New Hampshire, occasionally disappearing into the White Mountains with a backpack.  Find her on her website at JustineGraykin.com.

The Wicked, Weird and Whimsical Words Halloween Blog Tour runs every other day October 23-October 31.  Join us all five days for Halloween fun!  Be sure to say hello on any post to be entered in a giveaway at the end of the tour!

Halloween Guest Post: Were-Beasties by Vonnie Winslow Crist

Guest author Vonnie Winslow Crist

Guest author Vonnie Winslow Crist

Werewolves and other shape-changers are popular Halloween creatures. But why do these were-beasties appear in the folklore and legends of so many cultures?

Perhaps it’s because we like to be frightened! Shape-shifters often morph after the sun sets – the time of day when our ancestors had to walk home down lonely roads or through dark forests. Even today, we imagine the silent padding of a creature following us down a dim-lit path. A creature that was human moments before, and now views us as prey. In Thriller, Michael Jackson’s girlfriend flees from the singer in werewolf form, but by the end of the video, Michael appears normal except for his eyes. Likewise, in JK Rowling’s Harry Potter books, kind Professor Remus Lupin turns into a werewolf who would gladly devour Harry and friends if given a chance. The viewer/ reader knows the beast still lurks in the man.

Maybe that duality of human nature is the reason shape-shifters are such a powerful and wide-spread legend. One moment we’re friends with someone, and the next we’re so angry that, for a split second, we could kill them. Were-beasts can’t or don’t stop the killing urge. Their animal instincts control them and they act and react in violent ways. The character of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is an example of two natures, one human and one beast, contained in a single being.

The prefix wer comes from the Old English word for man. So whether a werewolf, were-bear, were-crocodile, were-hyena, were-jaguar, were-tiger, or a were-boar, the shape-changer is part human and part animal. Usually, the shape-shifter came by his or her ability through magic or sorcery: a curse or enchantment, being conceived on the night of the new moon, drinking from a pool of water where a wild beast drank, sleeping in the light of a full moon, being bitten or scratched by a were-beast, eating tainted meat, or wearing animal skins. (Fur-wearers beware!)

In Greek mythology, Zeus created the werewolf. In the 1500s in France, many people were executed after they were accused of being lycanthropes. Even Christian saints got mixed up in the were-beast mythology. With a fatal silver bullet or arrow being the usual way to gain release from weredom, were-beasts were told to pray to St. Hubert (656-727 A.D.) the patron saint of archers, dogs, hunters and hunting, forest-workers, and trappers. St. Hubert was called upon to cure rabies (and werewolves) up to the 1900s.

I included a race of were-cats in my Young Adult fantasy adventure novel, The Enchanted Skean. The Hunters are were-panthers, were-lions, and were-leopards who can control when they change into their human and big-cat forms. Enemies of dark magic, they help the protagonist, Beck, and his comrades fight an evil mage and his band of thugs. But in the book, Hunters can be killed when in human form by swords, and alas, some of these courageous warriors meet their end in battle.

So as Halloween approaches and shadows seem to follow even the bravest amongst us, beware the were-beasties that prowl alleyways, backyards, and forests. Let’s hope should you meet a shape-shifter, they can control their beastliness like my Hunters – or that you can out-run whichever were-creature is stalking you!

Skean front coverAbout the guest writer: Vonnie Winslow Crist is author of a YA fantasy novel, The Enchanted Skean, 2 speculative story collections, The Greener Forest and Owl Light, and other books. A firm believer that the world around us is filled with mystery, miracles, and magic, Vonnie celebrates the power of myth in her writing.

Read an excerpt of The Enchanted Skean

Learn more about Vonnie and her writing: http://vonniewinslowcrist.com  and http://vonniewinslowcrist.wordpress.com
Become her fan: http://facebook.com/WriterVonnieWinslowCrist  and http://goodreads.com/vonnie_winslow_crist
Follow her: http://twitter.com/VonnieWCrist
Purchase Vonnie’s books: http://tinyurl.com/Vonnie-Winslow-Crist-Amazon and http://tinyurl.com/Vonnie-Winslow-Crist-UK-Amazon

The Wicked, Weird and Whimsical Words Halloween Blog Tour runs every other day October 23-October 31.  Join us all five days for Halloween fun!  Be sure to say hello on any post to be entered in a giveaway at the end of the tour!

Halloween Guest Post: What Would You Do For Extra Time? by Trish Wooldridge

Guest author Trish Wooldridge

Guest author Trish Wooldridge

Hint: Don’t edit an anthology…

The search for extra time has always lent itself to the weird. Deals with the devil, infernal machines, djinn with their own agendas…

There is always a cost. Usually one that is more valuable than money. One most people are too scared to pay.

The irony that I’d joined forces with a long-time friend and writing colleague, Anthony Francis, to edit an anthology called Doorways to Extra Time–when neither of us had extra time to go through submissions, make choices, edit, proof layout, etc.–was never lost on me. It still isn’t as I try to find time to promote this anthology I paid a good deal of heart and soul for the time to make it happen. As did my co-editor.

We don’t regret that price, though.

An anthology always costs more than you think it will… in time, money, effort…sanity.

First, we had far more submissions than we thought we’d get. Yay our theme resonated with people! Crap…we have to read all these.

And we did read nearly all of them in full. Actually, I know for a fact Anthony did read Every. Single. Submission. In. Full. Even the ones with unintelligible grammar or that had nothing to do with the topic. He’s the nice editor.

On top of the large amount of submissions, we got a larger-than-normal amount of really good submissions! Yay!

Then we found out we had 20k fewer words than we’d hoped.

The really hard and scary part set in: We’d have to send rejections to stuff we loved. In a few cases, to people we considered close friends.

Doorway Stained GlassConsidering and weighing the stories and picking just the right mix made us later on our responses and eventually sent us into an editing frenzy against our deadline…something that would haunt us until the final release date and hoping the books made it to my hotel at Dragon*Con.

Oh… and another scary part? We both decided to have a budget to invite a few pros to play in our anthology. I asked two authors who I’ve known and loved for years, Walter H. Hunt and Jody Lynn Nye. They accepted! But…now we also had to edit these author icons!

But it was so worth it. Walter H. Hunt wrote a short story based on his upcoming novel, Elements of the Mind, and Jody Lynn Nye, who’s humor is inimitable and sent us one of the few truly happy interpretations of our theme.

The time–that infernal price–that it cost us was so worth it. Worth every stressed second. Because now these stories are out in the world…and they can touch others as they touched Anthony and me.

While it’s a given that anthologies are not generally “moneymakers” for most presses or most authors, they have value. They cost time, they cost money, but they often boost an author to bigger and better markets.  I got my start in anthologies, and I still submit to them regularly.

And to those who enjoy short fiction and its various themes, anthologies offer little escapes. Little adventures that take you to a whole new world. Give you a new thought. Introduce you to a new person, a new idea.

And those escapes don’t cost you a lot of extra time.

In fact, they just might show you a door to extra time. Without the hefty price tag. Or at least show you where to look.

Happy Halloween!

Doorways CoverDoorways To Extra Time, edited by Anthony Francis and Trisha Wooldridge, featuring twenty authors’ takes on finding extra time, is available as a trade paperback or ebook from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and anywhere books are sold–ask your local bookstore about it!

The Wicked, Weird and Whimsical Words Halloween Blog Tour runs every other day October 23-October 31.  Join us all five days for Halloween fun!  Be sure to say hello on any post to be entered in a giveaway at the end of the tour!

Halloween Guest Blog: Elizabeth Black

In honor of Halloween I’m hosting four guest authors as part of the Wicked, Weird and Whimsical Words Halloween Blog Tour! Kicking off the tour is Elizabeth Black with a special sale/giveaway of her dark/fairy tale erotica.

Halloween Special Sale And Free Erotica

veil_mediumIn honor of Halloween, my favorite holiday, I, Elizabeth Black, am holding a special sale including FREE EROTICA!

From October 28 through November 3, when you buy my stories “Alicia” or “When The Veil Is Thin”, show me proof of purchase and you get one of my erotic fairy tales FOR FREE! They are “Climbing Her Tower” erotic Rapunzel) and “Trouble In Thigh High Boots” (erotic Puss In Boots). These two fairy tales are also marked down from $2.99 to 99 cents during that week. Don’t pass up this great opportunity to enjoy some good books.

“When The Veil Is Thin” is a fantasy tale about a woman who finds the man of her dreams in every sense of the words. He is in her dreams, when she sleeps at night. There is a rare planetary alignment that allows her to use magic to make him real. In order to make him flesh and blood and a living part of her world, she must follow the explicit instructions of spells cast within the three days of the alignment. How does she accomplish this, especially when it comes to her greatest fear? Read the story and find out!

Blurb for “When The Veil Is Thin”:

Angelica Preston is in for the ride of her life. With the help of a little magic, she meets the man of her dreams – literally. Antonio is the main character in her latest romance novel, but she makes passionate love to him in her dreams. He tells her she can make him a flesh-and-blood lover only if she follows explicit instructions. She has three days to achieve her goal. Does she do as she is told, or does she need to be punished for not following through? Time is running out. How will Angelica win Antonio in the end?

Amazon US: http://tinyurl.com/amazon-us-veil

Amazon UK: http://tinyurl.com/amazon-uk-veil

House Of Erotica (UK): http://tinyurl.com/hoe-veil

“When The Veil Is Thin” web site:

http://elizabethablack.blogspot.com/p/when-veil-is-thin.html

Alicia_72dpi“Alicia” is a story close to my heart, since I enjoy horror but I also enjoy writing romances. So I combined the two in “Alicia”.

Blurb for “Alicia”:

When the love of his life, Alicia, calls him in the middle of the night to report she had been raped, Eric drops everything to come to her rescue. She takes him on an eerie ride through turbulent hours he can’t quite comprehend. Alicia may need his help, but her situation is not what it seems.

Rape is a tough topic to tackle, so to add a horrific eerieness to the entire ordeal makes it even more confusing and frightening. Eric learns as much about himself as he does about Alicia as he helps her through her trauma. This book is available at the Mocha Memoirs Press web site as well as the regular ebook distributors.

Nook: http://tinyurl.com/nook-alicia

Amazon US: http://tinyurl.com/kindle-alicia

Mocha Memoirs Press: http://mochamemoirspress.com/alicia/

“Alicia” web site: http://eablack-writer.blogspot.com/p/mocha-memoirs-press.html

When you buy my stories “Alicia” or “When The Veil Is Thin”, show me proof of purchase and you get one of my self-published erotic fairy tales FOR FREE! You have your choice between the following stories:

Beautiful lady in the coniferous forestCLIMBING HER TOWER – erotic Rapunzel

This isn’t your mother’s Rapunzel.

This erotic version of Rapunzel, “Climbing Her Tower” depicts Rapunzel as a voracious woman who discovers the joys of kinky sex with a sexy prince with a few unusual kinks of his own. This story includes BDSM, M/F, M/F/F, virgin fantasy, and erotic shaving. You’ll get so hot you’ll want to let your hair down as well! Let Rapunzel and her prince take you on the sexual ride of a lifetime. Absolutely only for 18 years and over.

“”Climbing Her Tower” is an erotic twist to the fairy tale Rapunzel. I sure love a good fairy tale and this hot and steamy tale doesn’t disappoint.” — Beverly at Sizzling Hot Book Reviews

Climbing Her Tower has all that and more. It is the story of Rapunzel told with a bit of a BDSM twist.” — Hitherandthee from Night Owl Reviews

WARNING: Rapunzel isn’t sweet and innocent. In this fairy tale erotica, she tires of being a virgin and craves the touch of Prince Richard’s hands all over her body. Although she begins naive, she blossoms with sexual excitement under the watchful eye of her prince, who introduces her to BDSM, erotic shaving, and deep penetration. He leaves her wanting more, and you will want more too!

Beautiful lady in the coniferous forestTROUBLE IN THIGH HIGH BOOTS – erotic Puss In Boots

This isn’t your mother’s Puss In Boots.

This erotic version of Puss In Boots, “Trouble In Thigh High Boots” is a story packed with hot, sexy, body humping adult fairy tale erotica.

Trouble in Thigh High Boots is a delightfully creative retelling of the Puss in Boots tale. It is a tale that has been told myriad times, but never in such a wonderfully imaginative way. The characters are enchanting, and the story flows beautifully. The love scenes are sizzling.” — Hitherandthee of Night Owl Reviews

WARNING: Tita isn’t your run of the mill Puss In Boots. She’s a cat shapeshifter who turns into a mouth-wateringly sexy human woman with a sex drive to match. This story includes M/F, F/F, M/F/M/F, light bondage, and lactation. This erotic fairy tale will get you hot in all the right places. Definitely for only 18 years and over.

Don’t let this sale go by without taking advantage of it! Enjoy some hot erotica and a spooky tale just in time for Halloween.

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Here’s where to find me on the web. Friend me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, and check out my books! I’ve included my Amazon author pages for both of my pen names, so whether you’re into sexy or spooky, I have stories for you!

Elizabeth Black – Blog and Web Site

http://elizabethablack.blogspot.com/

Elizabeth Black – Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/elizabethablack

Elizabeth Black – Twitter

http://twitter.com/ElizabethABlack

Elizabeth Black – Amazon Author Page

https://www.amazon.com/author/elizabethblack

E. A. Black – Amazon Author Page

http://www.amazon.com/~/e/B00BBWHMFM

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The Wicked, Weird and Whimsical Words Halloween Blog Tour runs every other day October 23-October 31.  Join us all five days for Halloween fun!  Be sure to say hello on any post to be entered in a giveaway at the end of the tour!

Grilling the Psychic: An Interview with Marco from “The Midnight Carnival”

Halloween is coming… and with it, the release of The Midnight Carnival: One Night OnlyTo get you ready for our treat, I’ll be hosting a series of character interviews, as well as joining the Halloween Reads Blog Tour. Here’s our first victi–er, volunteer!  Marco Vasquez! (Thanks to Ali W!)

Hey, Marco!  Why don’t you tell us a little about yourself?  Just a quick introduction for these good folks here. 

Oh, I guess people wouldn’t know that, would they? Alright then. Um, I’m Marco. I’m twenty-five, I work in a carnival, and the part that everyone remembers: I’m a psychic. No, I don’t see the future. No, I can’t read your mind. I see the dead, though. And the past. It’s really fucking annoying, and I can’t turn it off. If I don’t shake your hand, don’t take it personally, I just really don’t want to be in your memories.

So when did you first discover you had psychic powers?

When I was seventeen, after spending years in a mental hospital. My mother thought I was crazy. Schizophrenic, actually. Doctors did too. So I was crazy until proven psychic. Being psychic is better, but not by much.

What led you to join the Midnight Carnival?

Drugs are expensive, and I needed a job. I wish I had a better answer, but I don’t.

Did you work as a psychic anywhere else before you came to the carnival?

I did! A few little side-of-the-road psychic shops. I never worked with a real psychic in any of them, and the people I worked with either didn’t believe me, or were jealous of me. Either way, I had to wear these horrible costumes and this awful costume jewelry, and in one case a turban…

Halloween’s coming up.  Love the holiday?  Hate it?  What was your best/worst Halloween?

Honestly? I’m kind of indifferent. People say that the veil or whatever is thinner, but my abilities drive me nuts all the time, so I can’t tell the difference. And I haven’t dressed up since I was a kid, so… Yeah. Best I can give it is that I’m indifferent.

Anything else you’d like to say?

Yeah, why the fuck does everybody want to talk to famous dead people? Is it not impressive enough that we’re contacting dead people? How often do you talk to dead people on a regular basis that you need to come into my tent and ask me to channel JFK or Marilyn Monroe or Abe Lincoln? Guys. Calm the fuck down. A ghost is a ghost. Just enjoy the paranormal experience and leave me a damn tip.

The Midnight Carnival: One Night Only will be available on Oct 31st in print and ebook!